Updated: Nov 5, 2020
It must be real easy to sit behind a computer screen and prey on unsuspecting victims. Anywhere that there is an open forum, you will find these predators lurking for their next prey. They sit back and observe the behavior of others and pick out their targets who they know they can manipulate. Always beware of your surroundings and listen to your intuition because it will give you warning signs, you will start seeing red flags and then run like hell and don't look back.
I was preyed on by another online seller from Bonanzle which is now called Bonanza.. years ago. I end up with two years of abuse, gaslighting, the silent treatment, narcissistic rage, psychological abuse and triangulation because I didn't follow my intuition and ignored those red flags. She was aggressive in trying to be my friend which was a really big red flag that had me ask some friends what they thought about it.. but somehow I ignored the red flags and became her friend anyway. Who would have thought that my life would have taken such a drastic change from being abused by such person.
Gaslighting is an insidious abuse that causes extreme damage over time..
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment, often evoking in them cognitive dissonance and other changes, including low self-esteem. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction, and misinformation, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs. Instances can range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents occurred, to belittling the victim's emotions and feelings, to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.
So the two years of hell had begone with this narcissist.. the mind games and all that comes with it. She somehow latched on to a bunch of us so that she could be with people in my friends circle.. She was trying to isolate me while going behind my back to my friends and trying to make them think something was wrong with me, that I was crazy. She was deliberately trying to destroy my friendships behind my back. The good thing is at the end of all of it, my friends saw her for who she really was. I had one friend that I kept informed of all the weird things that she was doing to me and her weird behavior.. because it was a complete mind fuck and I couldn't understand what was happening to me.
Over time I was being broken down, lost my self esteem, started questioning my own sanity, start acting e-rational, I felt like I almost lost my soul, had a black cloud over me and was in a very dark place by the time I ended the friendship by NO CONTACT!
The friend who I was telling everything to.. told me to stay away from her that she is a psychopath and unfortunately she was dealing with the same problem with her sister being targeted by one, which was her boyfriend. I didn't skip a beat and listened to her and cut off the narc.. she gave me links to articles on psychopaths and narcissists, so I started reading them and that was when the light bulb went on, moment.. As I am reading these articles, I see terms like gaslighting, narcissistic rage, the silent treatment and triangulation.. I finally have names and meanings of what it was that she was doing to me.. I was like.. OMG, I'm not crazy!
I was almost beyond the point of no return by the time I ended the friendship with the narcissist. I was so broken down and in such a dark place that I thought I would never recover from this. She was stalking me online and this is where the triangulation would come in.. She would do things to me to get a reaction even tho I cut her off.. this all happened on Facebook mind you. She would do things online to mess with me so that I would react and then I would look crazy to people.. she pulls in other people and lies to them and they think I am the problem and they attack me. I finally had to block her but she was still stalking my website for a year.. I can see her going to my site on my google analytics..
I spent the next two years reading everything I could about narcissists and psychopaths to try and educate myself on what I was dealing with. Boy, I never in my entire life thought that evil people like this exist. People who enjoy destroying your well being and try to steal your soul. I watched a lot of videos as well, one that was very informative and helped me a lot was from Sam Vaknin, who mind you, is a narcissistic psychopath himself.. go figure! He has a youtube with lots of videos on narcissists.
I had also found this page on facebook that was also a big role in helping me heal. After Narcissistic Abuse - There is Light, Life & Love The original person who started this page was a huge blessing and really helped a lot as sort of a support group for all victims of narcissistic abuse. I highly recommend this page if you need healing and help. You can create another facebook user id so that you can freely post without your friends or family seeing your posts.
I was also referred to a friend by a mutual friend that had helped her in her own healing. This healing was on a spiritual level which was really needed because what I experienced was a very traumatic experience on a soul level. So I set up an appointment with my friend Susan and she did her magic. It took a few sessions with her to be able to heal and forgive. She is a god send! I would have a session every month with her if I could afford it.. her healing is amazing and I highly recommend.. She has 90 minute phone sessions, Energy Healing and Intuitive Reading By Phone You can also check out her website as she has a lot of different healing modalities that she offers.. at Oshun Spirit
People have no idea how dangerous these kind of narcissists are to ones soul. If ever you think you have run into one, run like a mfer because once they latch onto you, they will make you entire life a living hell! I believe a narcissist has a dark soul or no soul at all. They enjoy your pain and suffering.. they enjoy getting under your skin and get a reaction from you, whether good or bad. The narcissist who preyed on me has a huge list of victims that she left behind, some not so lucky as I. She targets victims online, mostly facebook, could be other places other then facebook as well. I can't say her name but she lives or lived in Rochester NY and has a beach house in SC and is a Instructor in mental health for adults and youths.. ain't that some shit! If this sounds familiar to you and you have been targeted online by this person, then please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Well this is my story, not so much in full detail but never the less it is my story and one that I hope helps others find their way to healing. Always remember, no matter how dark it feels, there is always a bright light that ends up shinning bright! Even tho this was a traumatic experience.. I thank it for what it has taught me and for my spiritual journey it set me on..